What is your

sexual identity?

Normal is just a Statistical term!

Statistically, natural blondes are abnormal because genetically they are in the minority group, but does that make them any less valuable, attractive, creative or loving as human beings?

 

Should we dye our hair blonde to identify with this minority group or should we celebrate being a brunette or a red head? On the other hand, we could just dye our hair green and purple and make an individual statement! Your personal sexual orientation is just like your hair colour – one single point of difference. Should
your sexual orientation be about a celebration of difference, and how those differences add value to your personality, skills and social life or a label that singles you out for discrimination — positive or negative?

 

CONSIDER CASTER

In 2009, Caster Semenya, the 19-year-old South African world 800m champion not only stunned the world with her athletic brilliance, she also created unprecedented controversy when questions were raised about her true gender given her body had
male-like strength. Her testosterone levels were found to be three times higher than those normally expected in a female sample.

 

The issue with Caster that created so much

interest was confusion over how we define gender and our distress when ‘round pegs’ don’t fit into ‘square holes’.

 

There was overwhelming support for Caster to be respected in her choice to identify as a female, in spite of her high testosterone levels. In 2010, a panel of medical experts concluded that she was able to compete internationally as a female.

 

CASTER, AGE 19

THE TEENAGER SAID

"I am thrilled to enter the global athletics arena once again and look forward to competing with all the disputes behind me"

 

Sexual 

Orientation

SEXUAL ORIENTATION

Sexual orientation refers to the direction of a person’s romantic or sexual desire, often expressed on a continuum from exclusively
heterosexual to exclusively homosexual.

HETEROSEXUAL

A person who is mostly romantically or sexually attracted to the opposite sex and whose sense of personal and social identity is based on being attracted to the opposite sex.

HOMOSEXUAL

(Gay & Lesbian) Homosexuality is characterised by a romantic or sexual attraction or behaviour towards members of the same sex/gender and whose sense of personal and social identity is
based on being attracted to the same sex.

BISEXUAL

People attracted to both sexes in varying degrees.

INTERSEXUAL

Intersexuals are human beings whose biological sex cannot be classified as clearly male or female. Some may choose surgery as an option to identify with one gender.

TRANSSEXUAL

A medical term for people who choose treatment options that include sexual reassignment surgery to make the appearance of their sex organs match how they see themselves. Transsexual
people sometimes experience a mismatch between gender identity and biological sex. Some transsexual people may feel that they were ‘born in the wrong body’.

Transgendered people enjoy behaving as if they were of the opposite sex, even though they have matching gender identity and biological sex. This might take the form of ‘cross dressing’, such as a man enjoying wearing women’s clothing.

TRANSGENDER

TRANS PEOPLE

Includes transgendered people and transsexuals.

When the primary focus of a person’s sexual or romantic life is increasingly related to computer activity, sometimes including pornography, chat rooms and internet media. This activity is often secret and interferes with their primary relationships and their work/study life.

CYBERSEXUAL

PANSEXUALITY

(also referred to as omnisexuality)
Pansexuality is characterized by attraction, romantic love, or sexual desire towards people, regardless of their gender identity or biological sex. This is different to bisexuality (characterised by people who are attracted to individuals of either the male or female sex) as pansexuals can be attracted to transgendered or intersexed individuals. Some pansexuals suggest that they are gender-blind; that gender and sex are insignificant or irrelevant in determining whether they will be sexually attracted to others.

An asexual is described as a person who does not experience sexual attraction or desire, or a person who does not care

about sex.

ASEXUAL

The Kinsey

Scale

The Kinsey Scale was first published in Sexual Behaviour in the Human Male (1948). It attempts to measure sexual orientation.

Introducing the scale, Kinsey wrote:
“...The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects... A six-point scale comes nearer to showing the many gradations that actually exist.”

(Kinsey, et al. (1948). pp. 639)

IS SOMETHING MISSING ON THIS SCALE?

0

1

2

3

4

5

6

Heterosexual


Mostly heterosexual,
but a little bit curious


Mostly heterosexual,
but occasionally experimental


Bisexual—Equally heterosexual
and homosexual


Mostly homosexual,
but occasionally experimental


Mostly homosexual,
but a little bit curious


Homosexual

WHAT ABOUT INCLUDING 3 MORE ACTIVITIES?

?

?

?

Cybersexual – focus of sexuality is cyberspace

 

Asexual – people who do not
experience sexual desire

 

Pansexual – attracted to men,
women and others

LET’S INCLUDE OTHER CORE GENDER IDENTITIES LIKE TRANS PEOPLE...

?

?

Transsexual – ‘born in the
wrong body’

 

Intersexual – both male and
female sex organs/hormones

Coming Out

Letter

LETTER TO DAD

Many same sex attracted school students can now join gay straight alliances at their schools. There is a lot of support for young people to come out to their families and friends. Here is
one example of a coming out letter. If you want to come out to someone you care about, whether you’re gay,
bi, or a trans person,this letter may give you some ideas to help you get started on your own letter.

Hi dad,

I’ve joined a club at school called SOFA Same-sex-attracted, Other, Friends of Alliance. I felt lonely for a long time because
I felt so different. This gr
oup has made it possible for me to take the risk to be ‘out and proud’ to know that who I am is not abnormal or freakish. Some of the kids told me that they came out to their parents by writing a letter to them and that sounded good to me.

I thought growing up it would be obvious to you that I was different to the other boys but we both avoided discussing it.
I thought I knew what questions you would like to ask me so
I thought I would begin this letter with those questions and try
me best to answer them.

”I'm confused – I was a hands-on dad and I was always there for my son. I encouraged him with all his passions and celebrated all his successes. So, why isn't he straight like me?"

I know you love me and you are proud of me but I struggle with the idea that the best I am is not good enough for you if I am gay. Why would you feel you have failed if you had a son who was gay? You brag to others that you have ‘raised me right’ and you’re right. I don’t do drugs and I don’t drink to get wasted (well, hardly ever). I love my life and I work hard to do well.
All the awards I have won and the great friends I have show that people like and respect me. So why is being gay a problem? You always told me to live by the values you taught me – I know
I am!

Coming Out

Letter Questions

“What did I do wrong that made my son

become gay?”

While I think I have more girlfriends than my straight friends, they have always been just that – friends. I’ve always been attracted to men although and there is nothing you could have done to prevent me from developing my sexual preference and I wouldn’t have wanted you to. I can dye my hair blonde, but I’ll still have black hair underneath! The AFL has just developed their policy about coming out so football does not seem to be a cure! It’s just not about you and it’s not a phase I’m going through!

“Will my son die of AIDS.”

Any of your children will risk being infected with STI’s if they have unsafe sex – not just me. It’s not a gay thing. You know how I can’t stand the sight of blood and I hate needles. Don’t worry;
I have too much to live for to take stupid risks.

“I’m scared for him if he’s gay.
People will judge him and hate him.”

Yes, as you have taught me, people can be cruel and judgmental but I’m choosing not to live in fear of people who just don’t get it! You have also told me that I have to follow my gut — trust my instincts. I don’t want to live a lie because it would make our family and friends feel more comfortable. I want to be my own person and be the best I can be on my own terms and that’s going to be really challenging. It will be for you and mum too. I’m really sorry about that. My brothers know — they knew before I did and they just don’t mind. I know you know how sensitive
I am and that cruel stupid comments hurt me — but you are straight and they hurt you too! I’m really sorry if the people who are meant to be your friends give you a hard time about my sexual preference. But if they do, are they really your friends?

“How do we start to talk about this?”

This letter is the start. Tell me you read the letter. Later, when you are comfortable, ask me any question you’d like. Let’s agree it will feel uncomfortable at first but we can move on. I believed you when you told me that family is really important. So I’ll wait for you to take the next step. I really value all the times in my life that we’ve been able to talk about important things. I want you to accept who I am because I love you and I want to share my life with you. Love and hugs from your son xx

Regularly Asked

Questions

Is it brain, sex, or social pressure that makes a person gay, straight or bi-sexual?

There are a lot of factors that impact on a person's sexual orientation. How your brain is wired and who you enjoy being sexual with are two of those things. It's unlikely that social pressure can force you into being gay, straight or bisexual.
Social pressure can force you into having sex, not forcing you into being a member of a specific group. 

 

How do you know if you're gay/lesbian?

Identifying that people of the same gender are attractive does not make you gay/lesbian (e.g., girls pashing each other at parties to excite boys...). If you identify people of the same gender that you would like to have sex with, have a romantic relationship with and maybe even spend the rest of your life with then maybe you are.

NOW, DO YOU KNOW WHAT TO LOOK FOR?