WHAT IS NORMAL AND WHAT IS RIGHT?
Constable Michael Sanguinetti, a Toronto police officer, suggested to a group of female students that to remain safe, “women should avoid dressing like sluts.” This sparked the birth of the SlutWalk protest marches, in April 2011, first in Canada and then became a worldwide protest.
Both men and women protested against excusing violence against women on the basis of the clothes women wear. During the marches, some women chose to wear clothes that others feel is sexually revealing, and makes them look like “sluts”. This movement has both a lot of supporters and a lot of objectors, who believe women get what they ask for if they dress in revealing clothes.
“We are protesting blaming victims of sexual violence for the violence perpetrated against them….no matter what they wear, who they associate with, or who they are”.
Following on from SLUT WALK, the #MeToo movement spread virally in October 2017 as a hashtag used on social media to help demonstrate the widespread prevalence of sexual assault and harassment, especially in the workplace. It followed soon after the public revelations of sexual misconduct allegations against prominent males in the media
All the girls at the party were dressing ‘slutty’. I turned up in my jeans and a t-shirt! Did I miss something? One of my best friends Effie started drinking vodka crushes and I think it made her act in a way I’d never seen her behave before, laughing at anything they were saying and sitting on the boys laps. I felt really out of the action all night. It felt like none of the guys wanted to talk to me. Was it because I didn’t look the part? Then Effie went outside with one of the guys – I was really worried about her, but didn’t want to follow her and ‘cramp her style’.
Maybe I should have had some vodka crushes too to loosen up a bit? Maybe I should have taken away the vodka crushes from Effie to stop her from acting in a way she might regret when she is sober? Who could I talk to about how I’m feeling? What’s the best way to be a friend? To follow her outside to see if she’s ok, or not?
All the guys at school were getting really excited about the party tonight, and all the talk was about which girls would show up. The girl I secretly like is Emily, but the other boys didn’t have a favourite – they were just talking about how many different girls they could score with. Once we got to the party, one of the guys passed around some vodka, which tasted disgusting, but I drank anyway because I didn’t want to look like a loser. Some of the girls were drinking heaps and becoming drunk enough to come on to the boys – including me. I didn’t like Effie, who kept coming over to me – she smelt like vodka and vomit – but I just let her try to sit on my lap and tease me.
Emily was at the party, but she seemed to be more interested in what her friend was doing. Effie was egging me on to take her outside, where the real action was happening. What am I supposed to do? How could I off load Effie, who was a sure thing, and go to Emily who was the one I was interested in? I’m a virgin! I don’t even know how to do it yet, and I’m scared Effie will eat me!
Who Is A Slut?
Are sluts always female or can a slut be a male? Can a slut be a positive word for a sexually liberated urban teen? Who gets to decide whether someone is a slut or not?
WHAT WOULD I RECOMMEND TO MY FRIENDS WHO ARE IN THIS SITUATION?
Listen to the language your crush uses to describe people. If they use ‘slut’ in a way intended to insult and judge, then you judge if you are safe to be with them. Look at their social media profile. If they use social media to shame others then you could be next in line. You can choose not to be.
NEXT TIME I’M CONFUSED, WHO CAN I TURN TO?
A responsible adult?
"WHEN I WOKE UP MOST OF MY MATES HAD LEFT"
I love the beach. I can’t wait till my mates and I hit the sand, strip off our clothes and jump into the water! Then we go for a walk to check out the talent. After a long day I was pretty tired and decided to have a nap lying on my towel. When I woke up, most of my mates had left. It was dark and a group of guys came up and well... they raped me.
SAMUEL, AGE 15
SHOULD HE TELL SOMEONE?
No, it’s not worth being grounded for life. No, he would only be ashamed because after all, he was lying on the beach with only his bathers on so people might believe he had asked for it.
Maybe he should tell a doctor and check if he was infected with anything or if he suffered any injury.
Maybe if he tells his parents the truth, they would be disappointed but they would support him anyway.
Yes, he should tell his parents and they would understand.
Yes, he should report the rape to the police so the rapists don’t get a chance to rape anyone else.
OR, his friends should try to find the rapist and give them some
of their own ‘medicine’.
OR, Samuel should just ‘suck it up’ and move on.
“I HEARD HER CRYING AND DECIDED TO CHECK HER OUT”
My sister is 15 and she uses a wheelchair because she has cerebral palsy. One day I hear her crying in her bedroom and decided to check her out. She finally fessed up that she had gone to watch the school football game and one of the guys walked her home. She told him our parents had strict rules and no-one was allowed in when they were not home. He forced his way in and raped her. She begged me not to tell our parents because they would be angry with her and she would be grounded for life.
SAMUEL, AGE 13
MEHMET, AGE 16
SHOULD SHE TELL SOMEONE?
No, it’s not worth being grounded for life.
No, she would only be ashamed because after all, she let him walk her home so he must have believed she had asked for it.
Maybe she should tell a doctor and check if she was infected with anything or if she is pregnant.
Maybe if she tells her parents the truth, they would be disappointed but they would support her anyway.
Yes, she should tell her parents and they would understand.
Yes, she should report the rape to the police so he doesn’t get a chance to rape anyone else.
OR, The brother should get his mates, grab their cricket bats and go and teach this boy a lesson.
OR, The brother should tell his sister to ‘suck it up’ and move on.
The Schemer's Story
"WE ALL STARTED TO TOUCH HER"
My mates and I were hanging at Tim’s place, surfing the net, checking out people’s friends on Facebook and we found one girl who was really into an online chat. We were all helping Tim come on to her, and the chat was starting to sound like a porn flick. We made her think that she was going to meet Tim down by the river because he was her new boyfriend.
She had no idea that this was a setup and we were all coming down. We told her how ‘hot’ she was and we talked her into showing us her body. Then we all started touching her, and telling her she looked like a model. We filmed her with our mobile phones and then later emailed it to all our friends without her knowing. I don’t know how the school found out, but they called our parents in and we all got suspended. Some of our parents were upset, some couldn’t care and others were angry with us because we got caught.
FRED, AGE 15
"HE DIDN’T WANT HIS MATES TO MISS OUT"
SAMUEL, AGE 13
I was mucking around on Facebook, when this boy started chatting and coming on to me. I was so excited! A lot of the other girls at school already had boyfriends, and I think I was falling in love for the first time. Then after chatting for a while, he told me he wanted to meet me because he considered me his new girlfriend. Of course I went! He had his mates with him, which frightened me a little at first, but then they started telling me how beautiful and special I was. It was a hot day and they told me since we were the only ones around that I could strip down to my underwear – it’s just like wearing a bikini isn’t it? Then, ‘the one’, came over, gave me a hug and told me he thought I could be on Australia’s Next Top Model. It was awesome! I let him stroke me, and then the other boys said that they’d never seen perfect skin like mine, and could they touch too? My boyfriend told me that he didn’t want his mates to miss out, and would I mind?
KYLIE, AGE 15
KYLIE, AGE 15
IS KYLIE HOT OR NOT?
Kylie has seen porn and acting like a porn star seemed well, almost normal. Fred and Tim were really proud of the way they treated Kylie – would you be proud to treat someone like that?
Some of the boys’ parents thought they deserved to be punished because they got caught, not because of what they did.
What do you think?
Do you think there should be consequences for the boys’ action? If so, what should happen?
DO YOU WANT THIS TO BE
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