All About Sex

Sex

Facts

Fact:

Puberty can start at 8 years old and as late as 18. Average is around 10 – 14.

 

Fact:

3 to 5 per cent of Australians aged between 16 & 25 are infected with Chlamydia (a sexually transmitted infection) at any one time.

 

Fact:

By the end of high school, about 50% of young people report they have experimented with some sexual activities.

 

Fact:

According to health data from the Kirby Institute in 2015, cases of gonorrhoea have more than doubled in just a decade while the number of gonorrhoea cases annually has more than doubled. Syphilis cases have more than tripled, while cases of chlamydia have increased by 43 per cent.

 

Fact:

Research shows: children who talk about sexuality with their parents start having sex later.

 

Fact:

YES, you can catch sexually transmitted diseases even if you use a condom. If the skin of the vulva touches infectious skin of the scrotum, it may lead to infections such as Warts, Herpes and Pubic lice. You can also catch STI's from oral sex. So play safe!

 

Fact:

The Journal of Sexually transmitted diseases study found that younger people who were using condoms nearly half had done so incorrectly, or experienced slippage or breakage

What Tweens Should Know About Sex

Q: I’m ok if I don’t have any symptoms of STI’s?”

Parents Answer:

You’ll be ok if you don’t have sex, or if you restrict sex to one long term partner who is not infected.

Sex Therapist:

You don’t have to have symptoms to have STI’s, like chlamydia, which is largely symptom free but can be diagnosed by a simple urine test.

Q: “If you don’t have a condom, it’s ok to have sex as long as the girl is using contraception?”

Parents Answer:

Don’t compromise safety, double up on contraception and use a condom too.

Sex Therapist:

It’s always important for both partners to take responsibility for safe sex.

Q: “What’s a designer vagina?”

Parents Answer:

A vagina is an elastic muscular canal that extends from the cervix to the vulva. When people talk about designer vaginas, they really mean vulvas, and the use of Labioplasty, which is a cosmetic labial surgery. It generally involves reducing the amount of tissue that protrudes from the lips which cover the vagina. Who gets to decide what the ideal vagina looks like? The reality is that we are all different so why not celebrate that rather than go through the trauma of surgery with possible irreparable side effects?

Sex Therapist:

People who consider Labioplasty may be suffering from a psychiatric disorder called Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) where people are preoccupied with imagining a defect in their body or are preoccupied with an imagined ugliness. Vaginas are not defective or ugly! The outer lips develop from the same embryonic tissue that forms the scrotum. Touching the outer lips feels to women more or less like foundling the scrotum feels to men. Short term risks of Labiaplasty can include wound complications post-surgery, loss of sexual sensation and an increased risk of perineal trauma during vaginal delivery at birth. Doctors agree that Labiaplasty is largely an unnecessary cosmetic procedure that does not address the underlying social reasons that give rise to female body insecurities.

Q: “Is pubic hair abnormal?”

Parents Answer:

One of the fundamental differences between a child and an adult is pubic hair. It’s normal, and to many people very attractive. In the same way some people shave their heads; other people also want to remove pubic hair. It’s a personal choice. Of course, if you do, you can have ingrown hairs, itching and scratching and the constant need for maintenance. Is it worth it?

Sex Therapist:

Pubic hair is thought to retain stimulating scents called pheromones. Pheromones attract sexual partners and may also increase sexual desire. Pubic hair is hygienic because it can prevent dirt from entering the vagina, as well as keep our genitals warm. It has a cushioning effect and as a barrier, can reduce irritation and sensitivity when skin rubs against the area during sexual activities. Pubic hair is also proof you are now an adult biologically.

Q: "My penis is smaller than others I have seen"

Parents Answer:

Like noses, penises come in all different shapes and sizes. Variation is normal! Anyway, size doesn’t matter when you are a generous lover.

Sex Therapist:

It’s normal for boys to reach puberty at different ages, so they will also develop at different ages, and have normal variations in penis shape and symmetry. In spite of the variation in size of the flaccid penis, most
blokes have an average size penis when it is erect. If you think there is a problem with your penis, check with a health professional.

Q: “I can keep changing sexual partners as often  as I want to?”

Parents Answer:

Don’t let anyone use you and don’t use other people for sex – respect yourself and others and put a healthy value on happy sex.

Sex Therapist:

Great sex is the ultimate high but with the privilege of having sex comes the responsibility to yourself and your partner. Casual sex with multiple partners can increase the risk to your sexual health. Some people find casual sex is boring and that it gets ‘so old’ so quickly, unlike relationship sex where practice improves techniques and satisfaction.

Q: “Will sex hurt the first time?

Will there be lots of blood?”

Sex Therapist:

If you have an intact vaginal hymen and it is stretched or ruptured when you first insert a finger, object or penis, it may be painful, but this is not true for everyone. Sometimes there may be a little bleeding, but the hymen is too small to cause a large loss of blood. It is critical to understand that regardless of how many times a woman has sex; she needs to be relaxed, to be aroused and become lubricated (moist). Tension and anxiety are factors that will more likely to lead to pain.

Parents Answer:

The simple answer is maybe! When you have sex for the first time you may be anxious and tense up the vaginal muscles and stop lubricating (moist) so it is harder for the penis to gain easy entry. Yes it can hurt and yes it can bleed (but not much) when you first start having sex, because you might tear a hymen (if you have one). If you are in a relationship with someone who cares about you and someone you care for, you are more likely to be sexually aroused, rather than tense, nervous and too dry. Make sure that you feel comfortable with what you’re doing, and stop if you don’t!

Designer

Vagina

“I NOTICED THAT WHEN I SAW THE OTHER GIRLS AT THE BEACH AND IN THE CHANGE ROOMS  THAT I WAS DIFFERENT. ”

Not only was my labia minora (inner lips) slightly larger than my labia majora (outer lips) but I seem to protrude where the fashion models I saw looked neat and flat when they modelled bathers and underwear. I heard boys sneer when they called the inner lips “beef flaps” and “minge lips” and I felt so ashamed. I’d see other girls in the change rooms and was jealous of them because I imagined they were normal unlike me and I wanted to have their ‘perfect vagina’. If I feel like I look good, I can feel good.

NISHA, AGE 15

Who's opinion counts?
Whose opinion counts when it comes to deciding the right shape for a vulva? Is looking good the same as feeling good?

Below

the Belt

"SMALL PENIS SYNDROME"

Jake heard that Nat was a girl who ‘put out’ easily. He took her out to Maccas on a date and then back to her place to make out in her bedroom. He wanted her to give him oral sex, but when she looked at his penis, she said “there’s something wrong with your penis! My favourite porn star is a lot bigger than that!”

JAKE, AGE 15

Is looking big the same as feeling big? Who's opinion counts?

 

Don't Ask,

Don't Tell?

IT'S A LOT BETTER THAN OIL"

SALLY, AGE 16  

SAMUEL, AGE 13  

My olive oil seemed to be disappearing from the kitchen. It took me quite a while to work it out. I went out and bought some lubricant from the supermarket which was in the same section next to the condoms. I left it on my son’s bed with a note that said:

 

Dear son, This is a lot better than olive oil. This conversation never happened or, if you prefer, I am here if ever you want to talk.


X Mum

DONNA, PARENT, AGE 40

Should mum have...

Ignored the missing oil?

Left it to a guy to deal with?
Did mum handle this well?
Did mum do the right thing?
Nothing wrong with olive oil?